I’m not here.
Those are Big Bro’s very favorite words, his catchphrase.

I’m not here.

Every. Day. for as long as I can remember.
We finally, lovingly just plastered that quirky motto upon a t-shirt and birthday present handed it to him, along with a laugh and a ‘now you don’t have to say it so much’


Another favorite sentence of his is, “If I’m still here”.
Tell Brother of any future plans, ask him if he’d like to go with and you will always, ALWAYS get ‘if I’m still here’
& yeah
We all have wondered, we all have asked
um …
if you’re NOT here, how will you BE here, if you’re still here … ??


But, to know that big ol’ teddy bear is to love him
& Lord knows we doooooo love him.

I’ve been thinking about my eldest sib’s words a lot lately, playing and replaying them in my head
especially the ‘if ‘
IF I’m still here
& I’m thinking, hey ! maybe this guy is onto something.


While traveling not too long ago, I crossed paths with some flashing lights, tow truck bound, ambulance on the scene accidents.
& as I crept by each of those pushed off to the side of the road, I wonder how THAT happened messes, I grumbled.
I grumbled about traffic jams.


& seriously, how selfish is that ?!?
My little travel day was temporarily inconvenienced, I was slowed down.

But now ?
Now, I find myself humming the if I’m still here tune

Because Life.

!! Life !!

It can change any second
& it continually reminds me, you, US that today is a gift.
A priceless, perfect, amazingly awesome gift.

IF. I’m. Still. Here.

What a beautiful way to live
& yep.
I have a new mantra.


Thanks, Bro ! and just so you know ?

I’m extremely happy you’re here.