Now and Forever

Now and Forever

Pardon me, while I muddle through my thoughts.
Today is the day she left this life
& even though it’s been seventeen years, April 13th, is always difficult.
It’s my sure wish I could turn back time and do things differently day.
So yeah.
The big rehash has begun.
I’ll glance at the clock multiple times within these 24 and think …
17 years ago she,
17 years ago I …

& music.
I will surround myself with music.
The songs she loves, the songs we love, the songs I stumbled upon after she left,
and the songs that hit home since she’s been gone.

Engelbert Humperdinck will rule my playlist. My mama ADORED THAT MAN and if given an opportunity ! yes ! she definitely WOULD have galloped off into the sunset and forgotten alllllll about her husband and six children.
& Mom, how you still make me laugh.

Quando Quando Quando

This Moment In Time

Those are two of your best !! according to us, Mr Humperdinck,
and I will hit that replay button again and again, I am sure

Of course I’ll listen to Barry Manilow because his voice truly touches my soul

We Live On Borrowed Time

& for sure, Pearl Jam

Come Back

Phil Collins, Mariah Carey, Carrie Underwood, Reba, Pink, Elvis, Garth
they all will have time in my ears today, but it’s Carole King and her

Now and Forever

that is guaranteed to be my absolute, straight to the heartstrings, favorite.

I miss the day we met and all that followed after …

Oh Mom. On the day of your funeral, after the tears and words and prayers and hugs were said and done, we gathered, we tipped a few, we cheered and danced for you
and I remember telling anyone who would listen, I need to drink enough wine so I can forget that we just buried our mother.

I did. We did.

& when the next day and the day after and the day after and the next and next and next and next days arrived without her, those awesome songs and singers were right there, shadowing, helping, carrying us through.

It’s not easy, it’ll never again be easy, Mom, but I soooooo thank you for the memories, the love and the music you’ve instilled into my very core. Those melodies of yours !! of ours !! guide me into today
& today, on this 17th year of the day you left,
I promise, I will smile.
I will remember.

I will sing.


2 Replies to “Now and Forever”

  1. It touches my heart the infinite bond of love – especially on these days when words are inadequate. May the Lord bless and keep you always as you show His love even on the toughest days.