I’m pretty sure I have said this one million times but, here’s one more.
Just in case.

I am obsessed with Google.

It’s true.

It’s because I have questions.
Lots and lots and lots of questions
& thankfully, Google has every single one my answers.

You know how Google has that little area that says ‘View Search History’ ?
Well, I looked yesterday
& I have to tell you, my searching is quite impressive
& actually very revealing.

I mean personality revealing, people.
Stop those naughty thoughts right now.

& I’ve never deleted my Google search history.
Should I ?
I don’t think I will.
Every so often, I need that stroll down memory lane.
It’s just for the heck of it refreshing.

Truth be told, most of my googling is definition checking, proper wording of words and spelling.
You know, the good stuff.
It’s because I have a typographical error pet peeve that I am trying to overcome.
Typos mess with my brain
& until I conquer this disease, I must double check my double checking.
I must.

I sometimes wonder if Google will boot me off if I ask too many questions.
I have this feeling there are Google talliers amongst us, counting my queries.
I fear one day they will track me down and holler at me.
“YOU !! have EXCEEDED your googling limit missy. No more. NO MORE.”


& I absolutely love how Google tries to guess what I’m wondering.
It’s like a super crazy game of charades.

Every time I start typing my inquiry, I picture these little Google smarty brains throwing ideas around.
“She’s referring to this “
“No ! No ! She’s alluding to that …!”
As desperation sets in, they toss out some last minute “maybe she means this…!…” suggestions.
Until finally, sadly, the little smarties just can’t figure out what I’m talking about and give up on me.

No worries little Googlies, it was my typographical error that caused your confusion.
You’ll get it right next time.

I don’t know how in the world I ever functioned without Google in my life.
My mistakes are corrected, my questions are answered, my ponders are explained.
Google fills my brain with ‘ golly, I didn’t know that !” knowledge.

I once googled Google to find out why it’s called Google
now I know.

I thank you, Google.
Your infinite wisdom continually amazes me
& without you, I don’t know how in the world I would survive.

I’d have to Google it.


I Am My Feelings