Circus Circus

We called them shaky sticks and every time we visited Gramma and Grandpa, we’d take them from the spot they sat, shake, shake, shake that tube-like container until one thin, numbered stick would tumble out, excitedly shout out the digit to the lucky someone who held the fortune-telling book and weeeee !! Our future read, about our day we’d happily go and back tomorrow we would sooooo be.

♥ Gramma ♥

You might remember my reminiscent words about seeing her at her funeral …

There she was, clear as day.
So clear, I stood up to say, “Time to go home …” before I realized she was not physically with us anymore.

& here she’s been, hanging with and around me these last few days. I can feel her now as I did then. In a song, in a dream, in a favorite picture

and in her funny, little Gramma ways.

Circus, circus !! she’d exclaimed, each time her loving family would gather. Talking and laughing and hugging and fussin’ with Grandpa and his tv set blaring in the background. And organizing this crew to get out the door to wherever and whatever plans the adults had decided for the day ?? ha. Oh, the memories, oooooh, the FUN !!. Blanketed in the pure beauty of unconditional love. It was precious. It remains priceless …

And for whatever reason, with my Catholic upbringing and Lent only two days away, Gramma’s circus ! circus !! sing-song keeps rolling through my brain. You see, Lent, for me, has always been the do-all, end-all. I use it’s 40 days and 40 night commitment as a dietary dream come true ’cause IT’S LENT. No chips. No chocolate. Take it easy on the peanut butter … boom. done. Like magical powers entwined into my cells, bad habits stop instantly because it’s Lent

& Circus. Circus. she continues to chant.

I hear you Gramma and this year, this Lent, I’m exiting the circus. No more endless BREAKING NEWS reports, no more noise that forever surrounds, no more social media back and forth and this and that chatter, no more listening to the hatehatehatehateHATE.

ugh.

ENOUGH.

I can’t take the ugliness another minute. Stepping away from the clamor is what I will do, kinder and gentler I promise to be, returning to the extremely simple request of Love thy neighbor as thyself  is who I pledge to become

& I thank you, Gramma. For the memories, the advice, for the peek inside my Lenten fasting and beyond as my circus circus ends right here.

Right now.

♥

Above The Rain