Shades of Joy
If someone had shared these words
in April of 2007 ?
I’d have quietly suggested they walk away,
leave me be,
please take their trying to help, genuineness elsewhere.
I can’t.
I won’t.
’cause deep within I hunkered, with my outward self displaying yesyesyes, I’m ok
and my inward me,
bit
by
teeny,
tiny
bit,
slowly,
surely,
breaking.
But here we are 19 years,
& yep, the ache still has it’s days,
those tears sometimes tumble.
& I suppose, I could share the many, many times I’ve written about and through this pain,
how Mom would send signs and sillies,
how just-becauses would appear out of nowhere to ease my heart …
but I’d rather stay focused on the clarity, gifted,
because once I found my way out of the heaviness
and opened my heart to her love, I realized, she may have physically left this life, but she’s only a whisper away,
forever
for always
& yes, Mom, I agree,
♥ 🙂 ♥