Sad and Tired
Every inch, every fiber is screaming retreat.
retreat.
Retreat.
RETREAT
& I’m trying really, REALLY hard to understand things and people and feelings.
But right here
& right now …
yeah.
Retreat.
Hate.
I’m surrounded and encompassed and enveloped in HATE
& I feel dirty and ugly and sick.
I am sad. I am tired
& that fact truly shakes me to my core.
You see, for the last six years I have been writing this blog, trying to keep it light, forever looking for that bright, loving my neighbor as I would want to be loved myself
& always feeling and knowing deep in my heart that YES, everything DOES happen for a reason
& WHY DO I DO this ??? every flippin day ?
Because a little bitty voice inside of me whispers, urges, insists
& so,
I write
& I HOPE.
But now and throughout the minutes of these last few nights all I could think of was, it’s time.
It is time to STOP.
STOP THIS NONSENSE.
Nobody is listening.
It is obvious, nobody cares.
I am spending my days talking to a wall.
Hate is the champion.
Hate RULES
& no matter what me and my stupid little words say, I am not changing the world because the world loves hate.
It might be all prettied up and disguised.
It might be straightforward and blunt.
But hate is hate is hate is hate
& HATE WON.
But.
That was last night
& THIS is a brand new morning
& I can hear her.
She’s faint and unrecognizable, but I can SO hear her.
It’s my teeny tiny voice pleading with me to continue.
Keep writing.
Keep trying.
Keep doing.
Just PLEASE. DON’T. STOP.
& so, I’ll keep on keeping on
& I truly hope you do too.
Please keep it light.
Please stay in the bright
& PLEASE continue to love your neighbor.
Yes, we’ve been sucker punched by that beast called Hate once again
& yes, we are down but, we most certainly are not out.
Pick yourself up.
Dust yourself off and get ready.
Because LOVE will conquer.
It always has, it ALWAYS will.
Rise above.
Stay above.
I promise, Love WILL.
Congratulations Hate.
You’ve just made us stronger.
Retreat ?
ahhhh NO.
Never.
♥