Try Try Try

It’s true. I’m trying my best to understand, but I honestly, seriously, really don’t. And then I wonder, maybe it’s me, maybe I’m wrong or just looking at things through my sometimes waaaaay  too tunnel-y, tunnel vision. So, I wake up the very next day with solemn exclamations of I’ll try better !! and TODAY I will understand ! But, I don’t. I still don’t. Set on repeat and promises. I continue.

My heart hurts for them, deeply and genuinely. ‘Cause I was there for a L O N G time. And I suppose I can and have place the brunt of my blame on social media and tv news, for pessimistic vibes thrive within those realms. But when I search deeper, I realize, it is MY CHOICE to do, to be. So, no. NO. The decision lies directly on ME

& that’s what makes me so incredibly sad, as I stand outside this vortex, looking in. Can’t they seeeeeeeee the monstrously they are lugging around ?? Can’t they feel the ugliness they carry ?? Swallowed up in self righteousness, distantly callous to the feelings of others, blinded to their very core

& sometimes, when the noise turns up it’s insistent volume, I think, how incredibly easy it would be to join them in their zombie-like pain. Just jump right in, cover up and figure, well, ok, I guess itiswhatitiswhatitiswhatitis. But you and I have been there before, Negativity, and I can’t, I won’t

& so, in the bright, I promise to stay.

It’s simple here.
It’s real.
It’s pure and it too thrives in a million zillion ways

♥

so today, again, I’ll try.

🙂

Above The Rain